~DanddoSeri
Dan - Status: Member
- Deviously Deviant
- Male/United States
- Offline for 4d 10h 49m 17s
- Deviant since Jul 20, 2007, 7:34 AM
Recent Deviations
ShionXNaruto Chapter 11 Chapter 11 Naruto’s PreparationShionXNaruto Chapter 11
Back in Naruto’s dimension. At Konoha Tsunade said, “Now sense Naruto are a Chunin now not just hear by in the other dimension.” Shizune asked, “Whose the lucky man that would be you best man?” Naruto motion for Sas
in Fan Fiction 4d 14h ago
ShionXNaruto Chapter 10 Chapter 10 Clash of DimensionsShionXNaruto Chapter 10
In Naruto's Dimension. Tsunade canceled the Chunin Exams and was getting ready for a the biggest battle they ever seen. Tsunade, Sasuke in caught up with Kakashi, Yamato, Sakura, Ino, Shino, Hinata, Kurenai, Asuma,
in Fan Fiction 5d 9h ago
ShionXNaruto Chapter 9 Chapter 9 Demon DimensionShionXNaruto Chapter 9
When Kabuto and his the prisoners reached the Demon Canyon. Karito Rizendori betrayed his clan and killed all of his clan expect for Kruita Rizendori. He'd cast the ghosted into the prisoners. Yomi enter Kabuto's body and Orochimaru into Touji Mizuki's body. Karito Rize
in Fan Fiction 5d 11h ago
ShionXNaruto Chapter 8 Chapter 8ShionXNaruto Chapter 8
Demons of the past
Sasuke disguise as Sai. Thinking of his competed his mission of killed his brother and the whole Akatsuki. After the was take care of. Kabuto and Sasuke join force to made a plan to killed Orochimaru-sama.
Back at the Demon Canyon contains the ghosts of Kidoumaru,
in Fan Fiction 5d 20h ago
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Devious Comments
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Check out the profile!
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Squa-de-lah~! We're off!
<^.^>
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"DON'T BELIEVE WHAT PEOPLE SAY!"
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"DON'T BELIEVE WHAT PEOPLE SAY!"
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"DON'T BELIEVE WHAT PEOPLE SAY!"
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"DON'T BELIEVE WHAT PEOPLE SAY!"
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Check out the profile!
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I
*podrás destruir mi cuerpo, todo menos mis manos*
*it can happen something bad to all my body, everything to him except my hands*
if you want some critiques, there might be too many characters to deal with. I think you should've chosen a number of characters and then created a fanfic from them. Too many characters in one story all at once would confuse a reader. And becuase some of then are smaller secondary characters, it might be hard for some people to remember all of them form the actual manga plot.
Also, a good thing to do is to go to the next line for every time a new person says something.
Indent new paragraphs and use correct punctuation. It always helps a reader when the text is clearer to read
Just some suggestions
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めんどくせぇ...
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Squa-de-lah~! We're off!
<^.^>
--
"DON'T BELIEVE WHAT PEOPLE SAY!"
--
めんどくせぇ...
--
"DON'T BELIEVE WHAT PEOPLE SAY!"
--
"DON'T BELIEVE WHAT PEOPLE SAY!"
--
Squa-de-lah~! We're off!
<^.^>
--
Squa-de-lah~! We're off!
<^.^>
--
Squa-de-lah~! We're off!
<^.^>
I just wanted to say thanks for the fav!!!!
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I´m PROUD of being a ShikaxTema Fan, because I DO BELIEVE IN THIS TROUBLESOME ROMANCE!!
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Bixx Katt the panther
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